Things that go bump...in the bathtub.

image from pinterest

It would be nice to think that as we all mature, our boogie men and strange childhood phobias would out grow us. And for some they probably do. For me this is NOT the case. And last night I realized how ridiculous I really am because of how my imagination can still get the better of me. 

There are things even now that freak me out so bad it limits a lot of things I do. For example, there is no way that I will ever swim in a pool at night in the deep end and now that I think about it, I try and stay in the shallow end even in the day time. Luckily I still have kids that are learning to swim so I can blame it on them.  I don't make a big deal about it when swimming, actually it really embarrasses me. It's not that I can't swim either. I was on the swim team for a really long time and was really quite good at it. The real reason is because of sharks. That's right, sharks...like the ones in the ocean.

I know. 

But my imagination somehow convinces me that there are fresh water great white sharks that can mimic the siding of a pool so they are virtually invisible. And there at the bottom totally incognito they wait oh so patiently until I come along splashing up a storm only to snatch me up by my legs and drag me to an untimely watery death. Yes I'm 31 years old.

Which now brings to me the bathtub story and oh how appropriate since we are still dealing with my fears of water and what lies beneath.

So I decide to take a bath and now that I am pregnant with twins baths are the only thing that I enjoy about my life right now. I turn the water on, add some bubble bath and walk away to get myself ready...you know the drill. Now may I start off with saying I always inspect the bathtub before I even start running the water because the last thing I want to do is to find out I've been in there with a huge dead daddylong legs and then have a heart attack and die.

I get into the bath which is still filling up, bubbles are piled everywhere and I sit there waiting for my feet to get warm and then all of a sudden something pokes the side of my rear. I jump thinking who is trying to attack me in this bathtub! (because so many times people attack me in the bathtub right?) and so I swish the water in that area to see what's there..but nothing. Now I can't see below all of the bubbles and I'm totally clueless as to what is actually in the water with me. I'm telling myself that it was nothing when it happens again but this time on my leg. And you know what? It feels like little baby doll fingers are trying to come and get me!!! (my doll phobia is a whole other story) At this point I wish an old man wearing a helmet and a handle bar mustache was in there with me. So I swish the water again and nothing. This happens several times all around the tub and each time I can visualize the creepy baby doll coming after me. I leap out of the tub and I'm so freaked out that I can't even muster the courage to stick my hand in the water to fish out what it is so I just undo the drain as fast as I can and wait. As the water gets closer and closer to the drain and the bubbles start to fade I can make out something...it's red...please don't be a red devil baby doll head....wha? Do you know what it was? It was my son's lego boat the size of a cell phone. Jokes on me baby doll...jokes on me.

People...I don't even know what to say other than I am a complete crack head! I've had 3 10lb children, 2 major back surgeries and a whole slew of other frightening things happen to me. But fresh water pool sharks, red lego boats and creepy baby dolls seem to be just too much for this hag. 

Cheers to all of you who still hold on to your childhood phobias...lets just say we live in excitement even if it's in our own mind. 

xoxoxox

Heidi